Lost World Live: Ladies Only
by SunKrux
Summary: What if Marguerite and Veronica went on a talk show? *COMPLETE*


Lost World Live: Ladies Only 

**Teaser:** What would happen if Marguerite and Veronica went on a talk show.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own them…wish I did…but I don't.  Just borrowing them…for this silly fic challenge that I didn't really want to do_.  *looks at CMS*_ but SOMEONE made us.  _*sticks out tongue*_  

**Rating:** R for racy talk.

*************

_Setting:_ Interior of the Zanga village.  The area around Jacoba's throne has been set up to look much like a theatre, with all chairs facing the throne.  Three chairs replace the throne.  Soon the chairs fill up and ladies are heard talking as they wait for the host of _Lost World Live_, Assai. 

_Assai:_ Hello and welcome to Lost World Live.  Today is Ladies Only!  We'll be

 discussing those subjects normally not discuss in mixed company.  

_Cheers are heard from the audience. _

_Assai: _Ladies, ladies, please help me welcome my guests for today's show.  My best 

friend, Veronica Layton and her housemate, Marguerite Krux! 

Audience cheers and claps as Veronica and Marguerite walk on stage.  Veronica looks a little nervous. 

_ Veronica (whispering to Marguerite): _ I cannot believe I let you talk me into this.

_Marguerite (smiling): _Oh come on, it won't be that bad.  It's about time we had a little 

girl talk.

Assai hugs both women as she greets them and then directs them to a chair.  Veronica is seated between Assai and Marguerite.

_Assai:_ Veronica, Marguerite, thank you so much for joining us today. 

_Marguerite:_ Our pleasure, Assai.  Thanks for inviting us. 

_Veronica (looking a bit embarrassed):_ Yeah, wouldn't miss this.

_Assai:_  Ladies, shall we begin?  Just how long have you two been stuck here on this 

Plateau without getting any "action"? 

_Marguerite (disgustingly):_ Three bloody years.

_Veronica: (stares at Marguerite):_ What are you complaining about.  I've been here 11 

years!

_Assai:_ So Veronica, you've had a few men in your life...

_Veronica:_ Yes, just a couple.

_Assai:_ A couple?  Last time I checked, there were a lot more than that.  There was that 

guy who fought Ned for you...

_Veronica:_ What a loser!

_Assai:_ and Danu...

_Veronica (sadly): _I still miss him...

_Assai:_ And Ned of course... Speaking of Ned, you two have gone skinny-dipping 

together.  Get any action while you were there?

_Veronica (coyly): _ Ned's a baseball fan.  Let's just say that he made it to third base, but 

didn't quite manage to steal home.

_Assai (raising eyebrows): _Any reason for that?

_Veronica (blushing): _You'd have to ask him.

_Assai:_ I guess I will... And then there's Ducart.  Looked to me like you finally got some 

with the mad composer.

_Marguerite:_ What??? _(looks at Veronica)_

_Veronica:_  Don't look so surprised, it's not like I don't know what you and 

            Roxton have been up to.

_Marguerite (protesting):_ Roxton and I haven't been up to anything!

_Veronica:_ Right.  I believe you, others wouldn't.

_Assai (looking at Marguerite):_ Hit a little close to home, did she? 

_Marguerite (sighing):_ Maybe, but I thought we were talking about Veronica and her 

            lovers _(emphasizing the s)_

_Veronica (rolling her eyes): _ Sounds like someone is a little jealous.

_Marguerite (looking a bit shocked):_ I am not! 

_Veronica:_ Really, then do tell. 

_Assai:_ Yes, please tell us.  I'm sure my audience would love to know just exactly what

            has been happening between you and the good lord. 

_Marguerite (pales and clears her throat):_ Not much to tell.  Now can we get back to 

Veronica? 

_Veronica:_ Oh no you don't…we're done talking about my lovers and me. It's you're turn 

my friend.  Come on out with it.  You can't honestly expect me to believe with 

all the walks you and Roxton have been taking lately that nothing is happening.

_Marguerite (giving in, finally):_ Ok fine there is something happening.  Happy now? 

_Assai:_ Well that's a start…admitting it.  But we'd like to know a bit more. 

_Veronica (enjoying watching Marguerite squirm): _Yeah, like how many other lovers have you had.

_Marguerite (looks at Veronica): _There have been a few others.

_Assai:_ Do tell.

_Marguerite:_ Let's just say that they weren't all gentlemen and leave it at that. 

_Veronica (noticing the pain in Marguerite's voice)_ _:_Ok, so tell us a bit about you and

            Roxton then.

_Marguerite (smiling at the mention of his name): _What do you want to know? 

_Assai:_ What's it like? 

_Veronica:_ It can't be that bad, I've heard you two.

_Marguerite (shocked and then embarrassed):_ No you haven't.  We're always quiet.

_Veronica (laughing): _ That's what you think.  You two really should work on that

            more.  I heard you the other night.  I believe Roxton was asking you about 

            whether or not you liked his, what did he call it? 

_Assai:_ Really Veronica?  _(looking at Marguerite) _What was he talking about? 

_Marguerite (closing her eyes "He really needs to learn how to whisper better", she _

_thought): _He asked me if he liked his "manhood". 

_Veronica, Assai and the audience giggle_

_Veronica:_ He actually called it that?! 

_Marguerite (laughing):_ Yes.  I'm sure Ned has a pet name for his. 

_Veronica:_  If he does he never told me. 

_Marguerite (teasing Veronica): _ Knowing him, he probably calls it his "mantool".

_Veronica (blushing): _Marguerite! 

_Marguerite:_ What? You can't tell me that you've never heard men refer to their 

appendage with little pet names.

_Veronica:_ Can't say as I have, not being the worldly woman you are. 

_Marguerite:_ Oh please, I bet Danu called his "manroot"

_Veronica:_ "manroot", are you serious?  

_Marguerite:_ It's better than "love pole" or "love stick".

_Assai:_ Where did you hear those? 

_Marguerite:_ Around

_Veronica:_ So any others? 

_Assai:_ Yes, please share them with us.  

_Marguerite:_ Oh there are plenty of others but they are all a bit too vulgar 

            for my tastes.  My personal favorite is "jade whisk".

_Assai & Veronica:_ "jade whisk"? 

_Marguerite:_ Yes I heard it while living in Shanghi.

_Veronica:_ You're kidding right?  

_Marguerite:_ No I'm not.  

_Marguerite starts to tell the tale of when she first heard the term.  Assai stands up and heads towards the audience._

_Assai:_  Well ladies that's all we have for today.  Thank you, Veronica and Marguerite for 

            joining us today.  

_Marguerite and Veronica get up and hug Assai and wave as they leave the stage.  As they approach the gates Roxton and Malone greet them.  The women look at each other and laugh. _

_Roxton (looking at Marguerite): _ Did you two have a good time? 

_Marguerite (still laughing): _Yes we did, any luck hunting? 

_Malone (looking at Veronica):_ What's so funny? 

_Veronica (looks at Marguerite):_ Oh nothing.  

_The four walk toward the Treehouse as the sun sets._


End file.
